What’s Helping Me Now

Every once in a while, the internet can feel like a source of shame or just a waste of time. When I’m tempted to throw in my virtual towel and bail on the technology world, I challenge myself to find something uplifting and useful online. Here’s what I’ve found around the web this week.

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  1. From Kara Loewentheil‘s newsletter this week: “Think of your old thoughts as a horrible ex. You know, the one who slept with your sister/never planned ahead/ate chips in your bed (the horror!)/etc. They are terrible, but they are familiar. And being with someone familiar feels easy. So, you’re on a first date with someone new. It’s awkward, you feel uncomfortable, you’re worried about whether you should have worn different shoes with your outfit. Your ex walks in and you run over and make out with him because he’s familiar and it’s not as challenging or uncomfortable as getting to know someone new. Or alternately – you see your ex come in and start screaming at him and barricade the door with chairs. Either way, you’re focusing WAY more on your terrible ex than you are on your new date who you’re still getting to know. When you feel your old thoughts creeping in (your “ex” thoughts, if you will), there’s nothing going wrong. It’s normal. Your job is to practice focusing on the new thought and to stop “making out” with the old thoughts.”
  2. This article helped solidify my decision to start getting up early (one day a week, for now).
  3. Emotionally Focused Therapy is the best couples therapy out there, and as I work toward certification I’ve been brushing up on the basics, which led me to this video, if you’re curious what to expect as a client.
  4. When your sweet and wise grandpa calls you to recommend a podcast, you listen to that podcast.
  5. A reminder from Tara Brach: “There’s never healing or waking up because of some sort of punitive measures. It doesn’t work in prisons and it doesn’t work internally.” (About five minutes in.)
  6. I love this parenting article from The New York Times, which offers conflict resolution advice for teenagers we could all benefit from: “Kids may need to be reminded to keep arguments offline. Once they’ve waged war in a group chat at one in the morning, it becomes much harder to achieve a peaceful resolution.” Amen.
  7. Made me laugh.
  8. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a fascinating figure. The tragedy seems to override the man at times, which is why I loved this profile from The Wall Street Journal.

Have a beautiful weekend, and thank you for being here.

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